[Humor] Fwd: Fwd: Modern Proverbs...

vincent vincent at jade-networks.com
Mon Apr 13 06:59:01 HKT 2015




-------- Forwarded Message --------
Subject: 	Fwd: Modern Proverbs...
Date: 	Sun, 12 Apr 2015 11:59:55 +0800
From: 	John Kater <kater.john at gmail.com>
To: 	John Kater <johnkater2 at gmail.com>




---------- Forwarded message ----------
>
>
> MODERN PROVERBS
>
> a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
> b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going 
> to a garage makes you a mechanic.
> c.. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
> d.. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
> e.. A closed mouth gathers no feet. (Liked this)
> f.. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never 
> tried before.
> g.. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
> h.. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious
> I.. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
> j.. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
> k.. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
> l.. Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
> m.. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. (Liked 
> this)
> n.. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so 
> good. (Liked this)
> o.. Eat well, stay fit--die anyway.
> p.. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
> q.. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. (Good one)
> r.. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the 
> waist change places.
> s.. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
> t.. Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
> u.. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
> v.. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a 
> mistake when you make it again.
> w.. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
> x.. Thou shalt not weigh more than the refrigerator.
> y.. I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when 
> I'm in the bathroom.
> z.. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never 
> cease to be amused.
>
>
>
>
>





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            <td>Fwd: Modern Proverbs...</td>
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            <td>Sun, 12 Apr 2015 11:59:55 +0800</td>
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            <th align="RIGHT" nowrap="nowrap" valign="BASELINE">From: </th>
            <td>John Kater <a class="moz-txt-link-rfc2396E" href="mailto:kater.john at gmail.com"><kater.john at gmail.com></a></td>
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            <td>John Kater <a class="moz-txt-link-rfc2396E" href="mailto:johnkater2 at gmail.com"><johnkater2 at gmail.com></a></td>
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                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">MODERN
                                                          PROVERBS</font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div><font
                                                          color="#000000"><br>
                                                          </font></div>
                                                          <font
                                                          color="#000000"
face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font>
                                                          <div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">a.. Age is a
                                                          very high
                                                          price to pay
                                                          for maturity. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">b.. Going to
                                                          church doesn't
                                                          make you a
                                                          Christian any
                                                          more than
                                                          going to a
                                                          garage makes
                                                          you a
                                                          mechanic. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">c.. Artificial
                                                          intelligence
                                                          is no match
                                                          for natural
                                                          stupidity. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">d.. A clear
                                                          conscience is
                                                          usually the
                                                          sign of a bad
                                                          memory. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">e.. A closed
                                                          mouth gathers
                                                          no
                                                          feet. (Liked
                                                          this)</font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">f.. If you
                                                          must choose
                                                          between two
                                                          evils, pick
                                                          the one you've
                                                          never tried
                                                          before. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">g.. My idea of
                                                          housework is
                                                          to sweep the
                                                          room with a
                                                          glance. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">h.. Not one
                                                          shred of
                                                          evidence
                                                          supports the
                                                          notion that
                                                          life is
                                                          serious </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">I.. It is
                                                          easier to get
                                                          forgiveness
                                                          than
                                                          permission. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">j.. For every
                                                          action, there
                                                          is an equal
                                                          and opposite
                                                          government
                                                          program. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">k.. If you
                                                          look like your
                                                          passport
                                                          picture, you
                                                          probably need
                                                          the trip. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">l.. Always
                                                          yield to
                                                          temptation,
                                                          because it may
                                                          not pass your
                                                          way again. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">m.. Bills
                                                          travel through
                                                          the mail at
                                                          twice the
                                                          speed of
                                                          checks. (Liked
                                                          this)</font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">n.. A
                                                          conscience is
                                                          what hurts
                                                          when all your
                                                          other parts
                                                          feel so
                                                          good. (Liked
                                                          this)</font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">o.. Eat well,
                                                          stay fit--die
                                                          anyway. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">p.. No husband
                                                          has ever been
                                                          shot while
                                                          doing the
                                                          dishes. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">q.. A balanced
                                                          diet is a
                                                          cookie in each
                                                          hand. (Good
                                                          one)</font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">r.. Middle age
                                                          is when
                                                          broadness of
                                                          the mind and
                                                          narrowness of
                                                          the waist
                                                          change
                                                          places. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">s..
                                                          Opportunities
                                                          always look
                                                          bigger going
                                                          than coming. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">t.. Junk is
                                                          something you
                                                          throw away
                                                          three weeks
                                                          before you
                                                          need it. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">u.. There is
                                                          always one
                                                          more imbecile
                                                          than you
                                                          counted on. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">v.. Experience
                                                          is a wonderful
                                                          thing. It
                                                          enables you to
                                                          recognize a
                                                          mistake when
                                                          you make it
                                                          again. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">w.. By the
                                                          time you can
                                                          make ends
                                                          meet, they
                                                          move the
                                                          ends. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">x.. Thou shalt
                                                          not weigh more
                                                          than the
                                                          refrigerator. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">y.. I believe
                                                          the only time
                                                          the world
                                                          beats a path
                                                          to my door is
                                                          when I'm in
                                                          the bathroom. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000" face="georgia,serif" size="4"> </font></div>
                                                          <div
                                                          style="background-color:white"
                                                          align="center"><font
color="#000000"><font face="georgia,serif"><font size="4">z.. Blessed
                                                          are they who
                                                          can laugh at
                                                          themselves for
                                                          they shall
                                                          never cease to
                                                          be amused. </font></font></font></div>
                                                          </div>
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