[Humor] Australian joke - rather irreverent

CERTES Mail crunge at certes.com
Fri May 29 07:50:23 HKT 2015


A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian Coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. 

Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of police officers, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news."

 "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first." The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead." 

The bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few Really good sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share." He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it. 

"Gee-whizz thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So, what's the other possible good news?" "Well," the Sarge says, "If you fancy a quick trip, young Bill and I get off duty at around 11 o'clock... and we're going to shoot over there and pull her up again".

-------------- next part --------------
<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div></div><div><div><div lang="EN-US" link="blue" vlink="purple" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; "><div class="WordSection1" style="page: WordSection1; "><br><div><div><blockquote style="margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; "><div><div><div><blockquote style="margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; "><div><div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; ">A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian Coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. </span></b></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "><br></span></b></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; ">Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of police officers, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news."</span></b></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "><br></span></b></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "> "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first." The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead." </span></b></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "><br></span></b></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; ">The bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few Really good sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share." He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it. </span></b></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "><br></span></b></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; ">"Gee-whizz thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So, what's the other possible good news?" "Well," the Sarge says, "If you fancy a quick trip, young Bill and I get off duty at around 11 o'clock... and we're going to shoot over there and pull her up again".</span></b><o:p></o:p></div></div><div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; "> </span><o:p></o:p></div></div></div><div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; "> </span><o:p></o:p></div></div></blockquote></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12pt; "><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; background-color: white; "><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; "> </span><o:p></o:p></div></div></div><div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; "> <o:p></o:p></div></div></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; "><o:p> </o:p></div></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; "><o:p> </o:p></div></div></div></div></div><br></div></body></html>


More information about the humor mailing list