[Humor] Fwd: Lexophile

John Kater kater.john at gmail.com
Thu Feb 23 10:58:19 HKT 2017


---------- Forwarded message ----------


-*WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?    *

A lexophile of course!



Lexophile: (Noun) a lover of words, one who derives pleasure from various
use of words, who appreciates the nuances surrounding different words, and
who is alert to synonyms, antonyms, homophones, and homonyms, often using
them for effect, sometimes in humor.



•    Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!



•    How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it.



•   England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .



•    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.



•    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.



•    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.



•    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.



•    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop
any time.



•    I stayed up all night to see where the sunwent, and then it dawned on
me.



•    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd
never met herbivore.



•    When chemists die, they barium.



•    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.   I just can't put it down.



•    I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.



•    Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.



•    I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.



•    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?



•    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.



•    Broken pencils are pointless.



•    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A
thesaurus.



•    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.



•    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.



•    Velcro - what a rip off!


  •    Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
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<div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:arial narrow,sans-serif;font-size:large"><br></div><div class="gmail_quote">---------- Forwarded message ----------<br><div class="HOEnZb"><div class="h5"><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_quote"><div><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"><font size="3"><br></font><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote></blockquote>-<b>WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?    </b><br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>A lexophile of course!<br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote> <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>Lexophile: (Noun) a lover of words, one who derives pleasure from
various use of words, who appreciates the nuances surrounding different
words, and who is alert to synonyms, antonyms, homophones, and homonyms,
often using them for effect, sometimes in humor.<br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote> <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    Venison for dinner again?   Oh
deer! <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews
it.<br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    England has no kidney bank, but it does have
a Liverpool . <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a
Typo. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's
syncing now. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but
he says he can stop any time. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    I stayed up all night to see where the
sunwent, and then it dawned on me. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    This girl said she recognized me from the
vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    When chemists die, they barium. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    I'm reading a book about
anti-gravity.   I just can't put it down. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was
a play on words. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    Why were the Indians here first?  They had
reservations. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it
grew on me. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who
lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    When you get a bladder infection, urine
trouble. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    Broken pencils are pointless. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive
vocabulary?  A thesaurus. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy
Marx. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded
dough. <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>  <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote>•    Velcro - what a rip off! <br><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"></blockquote><br>
</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></div></div><blockquote style="margin:0 0 0 40px;border:none;padding:0px"><blockquote style="margin:0 0 0 40px;border:none;padding:0px"><blockquote style="margin:0 0 0 40px;border:none;padding:0px"><div class="gmail_quote"><div><dl><dl><dd>  •    Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t
last.</dd></dl></dl></div></div></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><div class="gmail_quote"><div><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite"><blockquote type="cite" class="m_-6537375056217452213m_2907101587219273486cite">

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