[Humor] Fwd: Perfect Husband

John Kater kater.john at gmail.com
Sat Apr 8 20:03:04 HKT 2017


---------- Forwarded message ----------


*THE PERFECT HUSBAND*
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.  A cellular phone on a
bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins
to talk.  Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

*MAN:*  "Hello"

*WOMAN:* "Hi sweetheart, it's me.  Are you at the
club?"

*MAN:* "Yes."

*WOMAN:* "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's
only $ 2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

*MAN:*  "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."



*WOMAN:*  "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models.
I saw one I really liked."

*MAN:*  "How much?"


*WOMAN:* "$45,000."


*MAN:*  "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."


*WOMAN:*  "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and
found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're
asking $780,000 for it."


*MAN:*  "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $700,000.  They'll
probably take it.  If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what
you really want."


*WOMAN:*   "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"


*MAN:*  "Bye! I love you, too."


The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in
astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
-------------- next part --------------
<div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:arial narrow,sans-serif;font-size:large"><br></div><div class="gmail_quote">---------- Forwarded message ----------<br><div class="HOEnZb"><div class="h5"><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_quote"><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_quote"><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr"><div style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;FONT-FAMILY:'Calibri';COLOR:#000000"><div style="FONT-SIZE:small;TEXT-DECORATION:none;FONT-FAMILY:"Calibri";FONT-WEIGHT:normal;COLOR:#000000;FONT-STYLE:normal;DISPLAY:inline"><div id="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175divtagdefaultwrapper" style="FONT-SIZE:14pt;FONT-FAMILY:'Comic Sans MS',fantasy,cursive;COLOR:#7232ad" dir="ltr"><div style="COLOR:rgb(0,0,0)"><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_quote"><div lang="EN-US"><div class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264WordSection1"><blockquote style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:5pt;MARGIN-TOP:5pt"><blockquote style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:5pt;MARGIN-TOP:5pt"><div id="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264m_7695530114989925810divtagdefaultwrapper"><div><p class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg1" style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:12pt;MARGIN-LEFT:0in;MARGIN-RIGHT:0in"><span lang="EN-CA"><br></span></p></div></div></blockquote></blockquote>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:5pt;BACKGROUND:white;MARGIN-LEFT:184.8pt;MARGIN-RIGHT:2.5in"><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b><i><u><span style="FONT-SIZE:20pt;FONT-FAMILY:"Helvetica",sans-serif" lang="EN-CA">THE PERFECT 
HUSBAND</span></u></i></b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"><b><i><u><span style="FONT-SIZE:20pt;FONT-FAMILY:"Helvetica",sans-serif" lang="EN-CA"> </span></u></i></b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><span style="FONT-SIZE:20pt;FONT-FAMILY:"Helvetica",sans-serif" lang="EN-CA">                      
                             
</span></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"><span style="FONT-SIZE:20pt;FONT-FAMILY:"Helvetica",sans-serif" lang="EN-CA"> </span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE:20pt;FONT-FAMILY:"Helvetica",sans-serif" lang="EN-CA"><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">Several men are in the locker room of a 
golf club.  A cellular phone on a  bench rings and a man engages the 
hands-free speaker function and begins  to talk.  Everyone else in the 
room stops to 
listen.                     
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b><i>MAN:</i></b>  
"Hello"                       
                              
        </span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b><i>WOMAN:</i></b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"><b><i> </i></b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">"Hi sweetheart, it's me.  Are you at 
the 
club?"                       
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b><i>MAN:</i></b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"><b><i> </i></b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">"Yes."         
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
             
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b><i>WOMAN:</i></b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"><b><i> </i></b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">"I'm at the shops now and found this 
beautiful leather coat. It's only $ 2,000; is it OK if I buy 
it?"                          
        </span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
               
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b>MAN:</b>  "Sure, go ahead if you 
like it that 
much."                        
  </span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
                              
   </span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b><i>WOMAN:</i></b>  "I also stopped 
by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models.  I saw one I really 
liked."                       
                        
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
           </span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b>MAN:</b>  "How 
much?"                        
                              
   </span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
               
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b>WOMAN:</b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"><b> </b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">"$45,000."             
                     
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
                 
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b><i>MAN:</i></b>  "OK, but for that 
price I want it with all the 
options."           
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
                 
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b>WOMAN:</b>  "Great! Oh, and one 
more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted 
last year is back on the market. They're asking $780,000 for 
it."                          
                
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
                 
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b><i>MAN:</i></b>  "Well, then go 
ahead and make an offer of $700,000.  They'll probably take it.  If 
not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really 
want."                        
                           
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
                 
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b>WOMAN:</b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"><b> </b></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">  "OK. I'll see you later! I love you 
so 
much!"                   
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
                 
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"><b>MAN:</b>  "Bye! I love you, 
too."                         
                   
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">                              
                              
                 
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">The man hangs up. The other men in the 
locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide 
open.                         
                   
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg"> </span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span><br><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264gmailmsg">He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone 
this 
is?"                     
</span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843m_963247936216312642m_-4981396910937212175m_-8271319958929705264apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="m_-7663370862187788843HOEnZb"><font color="#888888"><span style="FONT-FAMILY:"Times New Roman",serif"><u></u><u></u></span></font></span></p><span class="m_-7663370862187788843HOEnZb"><font color="#888888">
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="FONT-FAMILY:"Times New Roman",serif"><u></u><u></u></span> </p></font></span></div></div></div><span class="m_-7663370862187788843HOEnZb"><font color="#888888">
<div> </div></font></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>
</div></div></div><br></div>


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